My Sweet, Destiel
by ConsultingWriter
Summary: A string of One-Shots that can be read as a series or separate ones. Each one is based off of a song, and specific lyrics in them. It's all Destiel my lovelies! :) Lots of angst and love and fluff! I don't plan smut, but if I ever feel like it, it'll be there. Starring: Fallen!Cas and Healthy!Sam.. Enjoy! :D
1. So Much Lighter, Destiel

_I came here with a load_

_And it feels so much lighter now I met you_

_And, honey, you should know_

_That I could never go on without you_

The air was thick, and it felt like his throat was closing; chest caving in. "_Go!" _He yelled, eyes glittering with not-yet-fallen tears. Castiel hanged his head, staring with half-lidded eyes at his shoes. He left silently. Just like he always does. Dean let the tears fall hard and cold against his warm skin. He slammed his fist on the table, making Sam worried enough to poke his head around the corner.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

"_Fine_." Dean lied, teeth clenched as he tipped off the cap to a bottle of beer. Sam walked out of his room, standing in front of Dean in silence. "Sam, I don't want to talk about it." Dean said, looking up at him with red, puffy eyes.

"Dean, I- I'm sorry, dude."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"That's great, Dean. But frankly, I'm more concerned about _where the hell_ Cas is going to go." Sam's eyes widened in frustration. "He's human now, Dean. He could die any second, and once he's out of reach there's no chance we'll find him." Dean stepped closer, grabbing his collar in one hand.

"Don't you _dare_ say that. _Any_ of that." Sam pushed his hand away, frowning and trying not to soften at the pitiful state his brother was in. There was so much he could be doing, but he couldn't. It killed him.

"I'm going to look for Cas." Sam said blankly, snagging the keys from the table in case he'd need them. Dean sat on the table, downing his beer and throwing the empty bottle at the wall. He fell to his knees in broken glass, weeping in painful, choked back sobs.

Sam opened the door quietly, peaking out and stepping into the moonlight. He heard muffled sobs and searched around with his eyes. "Cas?" He called out, but there was no answer. He ran to the car, the crying become louder. He opened her up, but there was no fallen angel inside. He walked around the car, and laying against the Impala's metal dress was Cas, face wet with visible tears. He looked up at Sam helplessly.

"Leave. I'll be fine."

"Cas, where are you going to go?" Sam kneeled next to him, hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know. But I do believe it doesn't matter." Sam sighed, looking him in the eyes.

"Cas, you're family now- you've always been family. And you aren't strong enough to fight for your grace on your own."

"Tell that to Dean." Sam was struggling. He needed to tell Cas the truth. He _had_ to.

"Cas, Dean is...different. He- He doesn't say things the way that we do. He doesn't show his emotions the way we do."

"That's obvious." Sam sighed, trying to find the words to explain.

"Dean has feelings..." Cas nodded, sniffling and waiting for him to continue. "And he has, uh, _certain_ feelings...for you." Cas looked up, eyes wide with hope. His cheeks were still wet with tears and his throat pounded and threatened a sob. "Cas, Dean's in love with you, and he's not going to say it unless I do, so-"

"Then why did he kick me out? If he loves me, why does he treat me like a piece of shit and make me feel helpless? If I loved someone, I wouldn't hurt their feelings and send them out because of one mistake. I wouldn't hurt them in a way that _I'm_ not even sure can be fixed." Sam shrugged microscopically, shaking his head as it hanged.

"I don't know, Cas. But Dean, he is...different."

"Why doesn't he tell me? Why do you have to?"

"Because Dean is afraid. He's afraid of losing you and afraid of being alone. Like he is now."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?" Sam was shaking in the cold, and the tears on Cas' face could have been icicles.

"Would Dean kill me if I went back inside?" Sam laughed bitterly, looking up at the stars for an answer. For anything.

"Most likely." Sam winked, hoping Cas would understand what he needed to do. Cas nodded, standing up, wobbly on his feet. "Oh, Cas..." Cas tilted his head sideways. "You didn't even put on shoes?" Cas looked down and started laughing. Sam was taken aback. He'd never heard Castiel laugh before, and it was weird. It lasted only, a few seconds before he dragged Sam in with him by the shoulder.

Cas stepped over the broken glass carefully, noting the blood but ignoring it. The shower was running in the bathroom, the door closed and locked. Cas tried to open it several times before giving up and pounding his fist against the door. Sam ran to catch up, pounding his fist against the white wood and screaming Dean's name in a chant. There was no answer. Sam kicked down the door, pulling it off of a passed out dean and holding him close, checking his pulse and signs of breathing.

He nodded to Cas, who sighed with relief and caught the keys Sam threw to him. "I've got Dean, you start the car." Cas ran, Sam fallowing close behind cautiously. "Cas, you're going to have to drive." Sam said as he stood next to the passengers seat.

"I can't drive."

"Well, you're going to have to." Sam sat down, Dean on his lap as he inspected every inch. he stunk of alcohol and there wasn't much else he could tell. "Probably alcohol poisoning. Hurry!" Cas fumbled with the keys, starting the car and _trying_. "Good, good. Left is brake, right is gas. Drive slow, but not too slow, we still need to get there."

"Of course." He grabbed Dean's hand and held it tight. Sam smiled, and looked out at the night sky, content with seeing the fallen angel so happy. And the thought that maybe he wasn't happy-maybe he was screaming in pain on the inside-kept him on edge throughout the drive. But he clung to dean with his life, for his brother's, and he _wasn't_ letting go. And Cas certainly wasn't either, and he couldn't wait to hear the conversation they were going to have.


	2. Be Good To You, Destiel

_I wanna live life, never be cruel,_ _I wanna live life, be good to you._

"Hello, Dean." Castiel said quietly, sitting next to him on the couch. Dean offered him some popcorn, Castiel happily accepting and grabbing a handful, shoving it in his mouth. Dean giggled like a school girl and immediately shut up, scowling himself. "What?" Cas asked with his mouth full of popcorn.

"Nothing." An old western movie played in the background as they ate in silence, just enjoying the company. When the movie had ended, he looked over at Cas who was sleeping for the first time in days. He smiled lightly, curling up behind him and holding him close. He pulled the thin blanket that lay atop the couch and placed it over them, nuzzling his face in Castiel's neck.

He fell asleep quickly, and almost too soon did he wake up, but no sun shined into the _Batcave_. He looked over Cas' neck to the TV which now played _Charmed_ from the whenever the hell it was on. _Someone must've changed the station_, thought Dean nervously. _So someone must've seen us._ His breath hitched, but he coaxed himself to relax. _It doesn't matter_, he told himself sternly. He wrapped his arm around Cas' waist, pulling him close and spooning. "Good-morning, Dean." Cas said all of a sudden. Dean was only half awake and he'd almost pushed Castiel off of the small couch. He held him tight, breathing heavily from his fright and resting his head on the fallen angel's shoulder.

"Calm down, Dean. It's okay." Dean looked up, rubbing his eyes like a child waking up, with the biggest smile one could pull, and Cas kissed him. Dean kissed back gently, barely moving and feeling warm all over. Sam's thumbs tapped on his knee, looking across the table to see what they were doing. He cleared his throat loudly as he approached the couch.

"Good, you're awake. We've got a case-"

"Could you give us five damn minutes." Dean said to Sam, but looking into Cas' eyes.

"Maybe I'll just take Garth with me, then."

"Yeah, you do that." Dean said with a smile.

"Dude, I'm not bringing Garth, just- he's not fit enough to deal with a vampire nest." Sam pleaded sadly, his finger fiddling with his jacket.

"Dean, we should go." Cas said, running his hand up and down Dean's back.

Dean huffed in annoyance. "Fine."

"I have to do some more research, so you can...take a shower..eat some breakfast." Sam said with a smirk.

"What?" Dean asked bitterly, shoving his shirt down.

Sam pointed to his stomach, chuckling quietly as he spoke, "Looks like you could use the job." Dean furrowed his brows, looking down. Cas walked up behind Dean, wrapping his arms around the hunter gently and resting his head on Dean's shoulder.

"I don't mind." Cas said lazily, kissing his neck chastely. Dean raised his eyebrows and smiled as if he'd just beat Sam at rock-paper-scissors for the first time in years. Sam smiled brightly back, as his mood had now improved greatly for some reason, opening his laptop and doing his research-magic.

Cas kissed his lips, holding his lower back and taking control. Dean pulled away when Cas' hands dragged and found their way to Dean's belt, pulling his close. "There is a child in our presence." He looked over at sam, smiling. Sam laughed awkwardly, rubbing his forehead and acting like he hadn't been watching.

"Yeah, I'll bring Garth." He closed his laptop, shoving it in his bag and grabbing Dean's keys.

"Hey!"

"If I get Garth, I get the car." Dean sighed.

"Be careful!" He called to the closed door. "Too bad Bobby's only sick with a hangover." Dean said with a mischievous smile. Cas chuckled quietly, giving Dean a big hug.

"What's this for?" Dean asked into his shoulder, moving and kissing the top of his head.

"Don't ever change, Dean." He said into the hunter's chest. Dean would've cried if he wasn't trying so hard to be manly.

"Don't worry, Cas." He whispered, voice quivering. It was such a drastic mood change with one sentence Dean was almost concerned.

"I think I should shower." Cas said, looking dean sweetly int he eyes.

"Yeah, probably." Cas walked halfway down the hall and turned around.

"Coming?" He asked awkwardly, trying to hide the blush on his face for asking. "I- I believe it's a common Earth..uh, custom to-" Dean smirked.

"Yeah, of course." he walked down the hall quickly, but not too quickly. _Can't seem desperate. _

_But then again, I am going to take a shower with Cas..._


	3. I Am Hell Bound, Destiel

_Don't want to let you down_

_But I am hell bound_

_It's woven in my soul_

_I need to let it go_

**Nightmares.**

Dean was thrashing about. Everything burned his skin and his heart beat quickened. His lugs felt like he was breathing in clouds and his hands clutched the bed which he did not recognize as anything other than the chains he fell on in hell. He felt each and every wound layer on his body. _Scratching, tugging, ripping _at his skin. A rage steadily built and he screamed, tried everything to _get out. _He felt the blood fall down his face, dripping in little droplets from his nose. He could taste the metallic pang of his blood and spit it out.

He tugged vigorously on the chains until they broke, clanking and falling in loud brakes of clashing and rumbling until he started to fall with the final links of metal into the darkest abyss imaginable. Shapes and patterns formed in the emptiness and the _silence was blinding; the darkness deafening. _Cheap laughter rung in his ears. He felt his bones snapping and stomach boiling in painful pricks stabbing his skin. _He needed to get out._

He awoke with heat next to him, and he felt very cold, ripping away the hands that rested on his face and tugging him close. "Dean. Dean it's okay now." Cas tried to comfort him, huddling over him and playing with his hair; rubbing lazy shapes in his back gently. The sobbing, honestly, _wasn't_ expected.

Cas looked as if he was about to start crying and Sam left, whispering, "I'll go make you some tea." Cas nodded, looking into his eyes sadly. Sam smiled sadly, though trying desperately to keep spirits up. Dean clutched Cas' shirt for dear life, his head spinning and eyes unopened.

"Dean, I think you should...can you look at me, Dean?" Dean slowly lifted his head with half-lidded eyes, Cas smiling and kissing his forehead as he held his face between his hands. "Everything's okay now, Dean." Dean sat up, hugging him tight and clearing his throat. Cas wiped the tears form his face, not realizing how intimate the gesture was. But Dean certainly didn't mind.

"Cas, I'm sorry. I- I can't stop it, I just- Cas..." He stuttered, burying his face in his neck, murmuring I'm sorry's in small cries. And never had a man ever seemed so small, so _helpless_. Dean pulled away, kissing Cas' cheek softly as he thanked him, getting out of the bed on wobbly feet.

"Dean..."

"I need a beer."

"Dean, I- I'm not sure you should- Dean..." It was useless. And where was the harm in _one_ beer? Cas slid from the bed, missing the comfort but wanting to make sure Dean was okay.

The glass shook lightly in his hands. The sweat on his brow and torso glistened in the low, kitchen light. If only he didn't look so ill; so cold. Cas rubbed his shoulders, kissing the back of his head softly. He hummed "Hey, Jude," just as he'd done for him when he was first learning _how_ to sleep. Dean smiled, even though Cas couldn't see.

"Dean, are you okay now?" He asked sweetly, resting his chin on his shoulder as he'd seen many people do.

"Yeah, Cas. I'm always okay."


End file.
